When my daughter was married a few weeks ago, my thoughts for awhile went to those loved ones who were missing from this beautiful occasion. People who should have been there, people who loved Lauren.
My father adored Lauren, his first Grandchild. The day she was born you could not wipe the smile off his face as he looked down at the little pink bundle in his arms. When she was a toddler he would carry chocolates around in his pocket, not unlike the Pied Piper. He would take her to The Entrance to see the pelicans , and buy her ice cream. He would sing her out of tune songs and read her stories. He would tell her way out absurdities which made her constantly laugh out loud. At Christmas he would make her wear crazy party hats. He watched her graduate from high school and saw her finish university. Dad met Ryan and gave his nod of approval. He is not here to see his beloved Granddaughter marry. The Granddaughter who would hold his hand as she jumped waves at the beach and who he would lay on the sand for hours building sand castles. Lauren, Pa Pa would have been so proud of you on your wedding day.
Elizabeth was my best friend, my partner in crime. She made me laugh. She truly got me. We worked together in the bank . We learnt we were pregnant over a bundle of $20 notes. I was so sure she was having a boy that I stole the girls name she had chosen. A very uncool thing to do. We walked the rocky road of new babies together. Breastfeeding over “Days of our Lives”. Her home became my home and vice versa. When we were old and widowed we had planned to buy town houses next door to each other to live out the rest of our days. Her son Matthew and Lauren became firm friends. Elizabeth watched Lauren grow up. We laughed about Lauren and Matthew marrying. Agreeing and joking that it could never happen as she was Catholic and I Anglican. When I was neurotic, which was quite often, she empathised. When we felt the world hated us, we realised that it didn’t matter, we had each other.
Whenever there was a federal election we would have dinner together and discuss the outcome. Often ending with Matthew and Lauren arguing, both having strong political views. I miss those dinners. We sat and cried over Princess Diana’s funeral. When I visited Diana’s grave I thought of Elizabeth. She would have enjoyed the fact I visited Althorpe.
She never laughed at my absurd behaviours. As our children grew and we returned to work , we saw less of each other. Our connection was always there. Often I would be thinking about her and the phone would ring. It would be Elizabeth. We would pick up where we left off when we saw each other, and always we would laugh, always. Matthew took Lauren to his Year 10 formal, they will always be good friends. Matthew was at Lauren’s wedding. Elizabeth should have been there too. To share the love and excitement. I wanted her there. I miss my friend. She was the only person to truly understand me and my complexities.
These two important people were missing from Lauren’s wedding to Ryan. In spirit they were partying with us. Participating in the day that was shared with all that we love and cherish. I’m sure my Dad would have wanted to give a speech at the wedding. He loved speeches. Elizabeth would have cried along with me.
We assume all too often that loved ones are going to be around to celebrate milestone events in our lives. It is not until they are not around that we realise the non-permanence of their presence in our lives. Always be mindful and grateful for the gift of loving people in our lives.
